Christmas Lain Poem
I wrote this poem in IRC live with two other lainon. I've gone through the effort of cleaning it up a bit, so I'll put it up here for safe keeping. Even though it's almost Halloween when I post this.
I wrote this poem in IRC live with two other lainon. I've gone through the effort of cleaning it up a bit, so I'll put it up here for safe keeping. Even though it's almost Halloween when I post this.
All the lain's are asleep?
Dave dawns his green suit
Dave sneaks down to lain town
And starts taking their loot!
Dave takes the lain ham, the lain tea,
even he takes Lains sacred Navi!
Dave takes it all, he takes their bits and their bytes,
their /cyb/ Chiba nights.
HA HA HA
Dave laughed.
I'd like to see those lains try now,
to pretend all is fine!
With no presents this day or time!
There will be no Lainsmas this year!
No mumbling nor murmuring, no IRC nor XMPP.
The Lains will all be too sad, too sad for their fads
No games and no LISP. Their servers they'll miss!
For I have stolen lainsmass, and all lainsmas cheer.
They'll having nothing I say! Not 'till next year!
We woke up the next morning to view all our stock!
Though nothing was there, imagine our shock!
Who would do such a thing? Take joy from the hackers?
Lainsmas is ruined! It's worse than the fed's trackers!
I've done it! Dave cries.
There's not a packet in sight!
Not a beep or a boop! Oh, imagine their plight!
The wired's so quite, without those terminal bells.
Or that pesky lainfeast, where N33R's fish always smells.
What's that? Dave laughs.
What could be that sound?
It's the spilling of soykaf?
Everywhere that starts with a pound
Could it be? That still they are posting?
But I've DOS'd every server?
They have nothing for hosting!
Dave peered through the channels, and saw activity!
Lain's were posting, but without any heirarchy!
"But how?" he cried, for their CPUs were too small..
Unless they went and... decentralized the protocol!?
Oh that's so clever! A good whitepaper for I triple E.
But somehow I feel bothered, they did it without me :c
Dave felt a sadness at missing such development,
And suddenly he regretted, trying to ruin their advent.
"We'll alright" he said quietly and rode into town
Adding servers to the cluster, passing packets all around!
A merry Lainsmas was had, and I hear they say:
Dave's heart grew nLog(n) sizes that day!
I hope you enjoyed it, though I think most of the people who read things on this website probably saw it when I originally posted it on Lainchan (at Christmas). Sorry I guess for posting it around Halloween, but you can read my Halloween special over here instead.